Writing Workshop: Using Mythical Creatures

There are countless books sitting on shelves here at the Survival Guide that don’t implore the use of mythical creatures. These books, typically, don’t get read. We all know how it is. You’ll be reading a book and you’re into it (but not really into it) and then suddenly the author drops a mythical creature on your unsuspecting reader ass. Then, before you know it, you’re talking like a Chatty Kathy at your book club and telling everybody that you had trouble identifying with the characters until the hydra sex scene. Everyone will nod in silent agreement because they were also captivated by those five erotic chapters in a way that words cannot even begin to describe.

So the question remains: as a writer, should you use mythical creatures in your work? Simply put, the answer consists of two words: “fuck” and “yes.”

Oh, and before you get any ideas, don’t even think about writing in a hydra sex scene. Or any mythical creature sex scene, for that matter. That shit is a Mr. Jones trademark and I ain’t got no love for imitators.

Unicorn

For when you need fantastical, but not a village of pixies fantastical.

The word unicorn is made up of the smaller words uni (which means one) and corn (which is horn spelled wrong). Usually pure white and surrounded by sparkles, I’m not sure if they actually eat anything. If they do, they probably shit hope. Or optimism.

When to use: A unicorn is best suited for the final pages of your novel. When everything’s wrapping up and the happy ending is becoming clearer and clearer, a paragraph or two about the main character watching a unicorn run into the ruins of a bombed hospital where his mother was killed is a good way to give the reader closure.

Chimera

Lion? Scary. Dragon? Terrifying. Goat? Not so much.

Depending on the writer, each head might have a special ability. Usually when I write a chimera into my story, I like to have it so every time the goat head opens its mouth music plays. I then usually pick a song that coincides with the piece’s theme.

When to use: Not to be a dick, but if you have a character in your story that is scared of lions, dragons, and goats, a chimera should be a no-brainer.

Jersey Devil

This picture really doesn’t need a caption.

A creature that has been supposedly spotted in forested areas of New Jersey. It was widely regarded as real for a time until people realized some people in Jersey just look like that.

When to use: The Jersey Devil is great comic relief. Maybe after a really serious scene you could have a Jersey Devil come in and knock over some garbage cans. That seems funny.