What if I am in the car with two other people arguing?

There are many things for you to evaluate before decide to do anything about this situation.

First, examine the argument. Is it something private that is discussed using very vague terms and nudging? If this is the case, it would be best to just try your best to tune them out and look out the window, because chances are they are talking about you. Along with looking out the window, you can do a self-presentation checklist, which covers your body odor, breath, hair, clothing and much much more.

If you are relatively sure the argument is not about you, and you'd like to make things less awkward for yourself, you can always pick a side. Nothing gets everyone involved like a good ol' debate with friends. Who knows, you might actually be the deciding factor in your friend winning the argument. It is important to note that you do not have to be learned about the subject at hand in order to participate. Blind faith can be considered a perk if such a situation occurs.

If you want to make things less awkward, but also want people to stop fighting, you can always try to change the situation. Here is the conversation, verbatim, that I had in a car amongst two fighting parties. Notice how I expertly weave myself in to save us all:

Woman: Why do you always call him my baby. He's your's, too.

Man: How do you even know? You were to strung out to know who's who.

Me: Cold today!

Did you feel the magic happen? I know I did. All previous talking points and fraternity issues were forgotten as everyone instantly remembered it was a bit chilly outside. We ended up talking joyfully for the rest of the car ride, singing to music on the radio, and not talking about who's your baby's daddy.

However, you must remember that all arguments are better when you interrupt when the iron is lukewarm. DO NOT LET THE AWKWARD SILENCE SET IN. I cannot stress this enough. This is the point of no return and ensures that awkward shifting in silence will happen for the next 20 minutes. If it means just bailing out of the car to stop argument, so be it. The stop sign you are wrapped around will be a fun conversation topic that will distract the arguers for trips to come.

Wildlife Guide to the Great Lakes

The Great Lakes of the Midwest are not only the largest fresh water ecosystem in the world, but also a breathtaking sight to behold. There is no wonder why so many wildlife enthusiasts flock to the Midwest to witness the Lakes first hand. However, much like a stripper that is also a Venus flytrap, this beauty can also be potentially dangerous.

Many an optimistic adventurer has embarked to have their lives enlightened by the simple joy of nature only to lose their wits at a scene not unlike the following:

After a sight like the above, you’re spelling Lake Huron M-U-R-D-E-R.

But fear not! I have taken the liberty of cataloging wildlife indigenous to the Great Lakes region with special regard to what threat they pose to you, the wildlife enthusiast.

Monkey Eating Eagle
Arguably one of nature’s most stubborn animals, the Monkey Eating Eagle’s prey of choice is primates of varying shapes and sizes but more often than not it has to settle for squirrels. Researchers continue to be baffled as to why this bird continues to inhabit a monkey free ecosystem. Once a year, masses of these birds migrate from city zoo to city zoo devouring monkeys and especially hairy babies.
Threat Level: Low

Cobra Spitting Cobra A long distant cousin of the African venom spitting cobra, the cobra spitting cobra is armed with the ability to spit out more cobras when endangered, in addition to its already venomous bite. The freshly spat cobras will then attack the foe, do nothing, or spit more cobras. Once in a while a female will spit up a male cobra and mate with it and lay a clutch of super retarded inbred eggs. Threat Level: High


Peddler Octopus

The peddler octopus will try to trade you something you truly desire for something you truly need. Only the pure of heart will realize these objects are one in the same.

Threat Level: Low



Feral Pat Boone

Pat Boone is the Native American harbinger of death and destruction. If you come across one, get back to civilization as soon as possible. Running away doesn’t help because although the average human is faster, Pat Boone can track your scent indefinitely.

Threat Level: Extremely High



Prehistoric Beaver
The animal that inspired a porn ring focused on the elderly is actually not laughing matter. Its giant teeth can tear bone and flesh asunder, but fortunately it only attacks trees. Unfortunately, prehistoric beavers have allied themselves with bog witches that will cast a hex on a passerby that will turn a human into a redwood.

Threat Level: Medium