Things to see in Delaware

Welcome to the most comprehensive and up-to-date travel guide of Delaware! So up to date, however, that it is important to realize that most modern documents still list Delaware as a state and have not acknowledged that America's own "Blue Hen State" is now a sentient body of land that craves companionship and understanding. If you still choose to visit Delaware, here are a few attractions you'll want to be sure to check out on the world's first self-aware landmass.

• Rehoboth beach - This scenic beach is one of the mainstays of Delaware tourism. Of course, it only appears depending on which way Delaware is moving. Delaware, being an East-coast state, must travel in any direction but East for the beach to appear. When traveling East, water rushes onto the beach, covering the sand and destroying most of the beach front property. Even when it's not traveling East, the beach is pretty subpar anyhow.
  

• Delaware Memorial Bridge Ruins - Did you know Delaware is the home of the world's largest dual suspension bridges? Well, it use to be. Until Delaware started moving, shifting the tectonic plates of the Earth, causing the suspension bridges to shake and weave around each other like a concrete double helix. Luckily, the wreckage still looks pretty cool, and no one has made an effort to clean up the cars and bodies. You can poke at them with sticks if you wanted.
  

Fun Fact! Even though it was the largest dual suspension bridge built, they were only the top 39th and 40th suspension bridges in the world individually. So even at their best, Delaware was worse than most.

• Obleisk of Ancients - Covered in ancient runes, this monolith is positioned in the center of Dover and has been emitting low humming sound since the state began thinking. It is often theorized as the center of Delaware's actions, but science has done little to prove this point. It's cool to look at, but you really can't make a day out of it, much less a weekend or family getaway.
  

• Celebrities! - Be sure to pick up a star map before you leave the airport, because Delaware is known as the home for the most renown actors, actresses, and musicians! Of course, most of them jumped state after Delaware started pondering the deeper meaning of being a landmass. That still doesn't mean you can't ransack the abandoned houses of Ryan Phillippe (Breach) and Elisabeth Shue (The Karate Kid.) The only celebrity to really watch out for is Judge Reinhold, who has taken it upon himself to tame the wild Delaware.

Fun Fact! Did you know that Bob Marley stayed in Delaware
briefly and worked at a General Motors plant? Delaware killed
him inside and it was only a matter of time till his medical
marijuana could no longer help the pain.

It's important that you have fun in Delaware. If you openly report your less-than-satisfactory time on the self-seceded state, Delaware will feel alienated and worthless. Make sure you shield Delaware from your opinions if they are hurtful. He needs encouragement now more than ever. However, it won't be hard to have fun if you just follow the guide!