What are the negative consequences of Feng Shui?

Interior design has always been a kind of staple in the gay community, along with Volkswagen Jettas, NBC’s Caroline in the City, and Kathy Griffin. However Feng Shui, the art of achieving harmony through placement and the effective use of a room’s space, takes a gay thing and makes it gayer. Scientists refer to this level of homosexuality as “turbo gay,” or TG for short.

But what precisely makes TG dangerous? Particular in teenage cases of TG, those afflicted with the condition have been known to enter a berserk state, referred both on the street and in the scientific community as “Going Feng Swayze.” When in this enraged state, it is not uncommon for people to break into loved one’s homes and rearrange their furniture to achieve inner peace. Unfortunately, due to the violent nature of “Feng Swayze,” the inner peace is almost interrupted by spontaneous, ruthless skull fucking.

In summary, the amount of Fung Shui in someone’s life is also directly proportional to the amount of skull fucking in someone’s life. For a graphic representation please refer to the following:

Seems harmless enough, right? Well what if I told you that the Chinese have only one word for every word on this chart? And what if I told you that word directly translates to "skull fucking?"

I rest my case.