Public Outcry: "[How do I] contact Cory Feldman[?]"

We have decided to change how we do Public Outcry. Instead of replying to three (3) google searches we received from internet adventurers, we will now answer one (1) or two (2) note-worthy responses as they come in (I saw this whole "numbers in brackets" in an instruction manual, and it made such an impact on me that I feel as if I should incorporate it in lifestyle).

"[How do I] contact Cory Feldman[?]"

There is a hard way and an easy way to get in contact with Cory Feldman.

Hard way: Move to Beverly Hills and start networking at all of the celebrity hot spots. Ask around to see who Corey's manager is. Find his yellow papers ad, call him up, and ask for his services. Create a reel of your past work as an actor/actress and show, in order to show that you are serious about acting. Your method acting style will move the manager to tears, as it reminds him of the time he lost his mother in a terrible shack collapse. He will pursue auditions for you and get you into the hottest movies around.

Did you know... Corey Feldman's great grandfather, Angus Feldmanstein, lived in the Statue of Liberty until he died of freedom overdose?

Ask the manager in passing what it is like to work with Cory. He will to get around the question, as their history is love/hate at best, but keep prying. He will eventually cave in and tell you the seedy bar he goes to every night. Show up there at 7 (seven) on a Tuesday night, go into the washroom, and then say Cory Feldman three (3) times fast in the mirror and he will appear for only for only five (V) seconds, most of which he will be quoting from a past character he played, and usually not from something notable like "Stand By Me" (Kids findin' a dead body) but something less-popular like his cameo on Love Boat (soon will be making another run, promises something for everyone. Setting a course for adventure and your mind on a new romance.)

Though this is a fleeting moment, it will be a nice ice breaker for when he comes into the bar at 7:15 (6:75).

Easy way: Order a pizza and have it delivered.