Writing Workshop: How do I write a title for an editorial?

Awhile back, we covered how to write a response to an editorial. While this is all well and good, it really does not say much about our readership. Why would we only want you to respond, when you could just as easily stir the waters with your own fiery writings? Most likely because there would be no way to quell the uprising of our tens and tens of survivalists and their newfound objections to the world. As responsible adults, we will still withhold this awesome power, but tease you just a little bit more with the large pink feather that is editorial title creation.

While some people will say that a good title is completely complimentary to an already outstanding article, they obviously do not know their history. Every Pulitzer Prize winning editorial in the last 15 years has followed the same formula: Take a well-known quote or idea, and add a question mark. For instance, this is the title of one of the many Socialist newspapers I published yesterday:

Home of the Brave?

Immediately, the reader is bombarded with even more questions. "Aren't we the home of the brave? Does the writer not think so? If we aren't, what are we home to? Will that phrase be as catchy as 'Home of the Brave'?" They read the rest of your article with great fervor, as they try to get to the bottom of this question mark placement. The next is one I wrote for my junior high newspaper:

Girls rule, boys drool?

Are you hooked? Do not bother replying, because not only can I not hear your gasps, but I already assume that said gasps are breathes of acknowledged awesomeness. This title blows the doors down of the conventions at the time. From day one, boys drooled and girls ruled, and there was not another rhyme scheme we could easily have plugged in to turn the tables. By turning to inquisitive punctuation, I effectively grabbed the undropped balls of my readership in my vice-like (yet purely business) grip. For our final example, I take you to a segment of a smear campaign I was hired to write against the Civil Rights movement:

I have a Dream?

Now, I do not condone selling your voice for monetary gain, and this was written in hard times. I've previously mentioned how much of Martin Luther King's speech was not-so-subtly-ripped off of an open-mic in Washington I performed at the night before he spoke on the steps, and though I know of the amazing things he did, I was blinded with rage and fell into a job bashing him. This was actually kind of confusing, as many people saw the title as me not being sure what a dream was. I spent the next three weeks writing responses in the hate-pamphlet from people who were simply too confused by the title and tried to describe the abstract concept of dreaming in hate-filled detail. While this is meant to be a "What not to do example," the public's doubt is what made me start writing my dream journal, which I have kept until this day.

Related Guide Entries
How do I quell an uprising?
Bullshit or Bulltruth: Playground Rhymes
How do I write the "I Have a Dream" speech?