First Impressions
Just like how different cultures have different hand-shakes and how white and black people drive differently, aliens have their own way of life and might find some of your gestures weird and confusing. Try to not look directly at them, and remain distant unless they approach you. If a film conversation comes up, most alien races love Godfather Part 3. While it goes against everything we stand for as humans, sometimes bridge building takes a few lies. That's a phrase, right?
Presenting Your Evidence
This is tricky, because a misspeaking here will throw the entirety of humanity under the bus, which recent research shows means the end of us. Since we don't want to stop existing, you must use your knowledge of our collective contributions to justify our culture and not get us all vaporized. Here are a brief list of inventions you can use in order to plead our case.
Alternatives
When being an ambassador, you have to accept that you might need to take one for the greater good. And since the greater good is us, we would really really perfer you took one. Not that we hate you, but we hate the complete obliteration of our lives more. If things start looking south, tell them you can be a servant for them and bend at their will. While this might sound like a wacky sitcom from the 80s, it should not be taken lightly. Sure, you might just have to drive them around or make them lemonade, but you could also turn into the mute servant from The Most Dangerous Game. While being a huge Russian should be fun, there is nothing fun about falling victim to a Uganda trap. Bear this in mind
Related entries
How do I become Russian?
D.I.Y. Time: How do I make my own Uganda Trap
Etiquette Excellence: Space Travel
Presenting Your Evidence
This is tricky, because a misspeaking here will throw the entirety of humanity under the bus, which recent research shows means the end of us. Since we don't want to stop existing, you must use your knowledge of our collective contributions to justify our culture and not get us all vaporized. Here are a brief list of inventions you can use in order to plead our case.
- Hydrogen bombs
- Domestication of potbelly pigs
- 48 Hours
- Easy-Bake ovens
- Spaghetti Strainer
- Love
- Pocket Fisherman
- GLH #7
- Another 48 Hours
- A child's laughter
- The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson
Alternatives
When being an ambassador, you have to accept that you might need to take one for the greater good. And since the greater good is us, we would really really perfer you took one. Not that we hate you, but we hate the complete obliteration of our lives more. If things start looking south, tell them you can be a servant for them and bend at their will. While this might sound like a wacky sitcom from the 80s, it should not be taken lightly. Sure, you might just have to drive them around or make them lemonade, but you could also turn into the mute servant from The Most Dangerous Game. While being a huge Russian should be fun, there is nothing fun about falling victim to a Uganda trap. Bear this in mind
Related entries
How do I become Russian?
D.I.Y. Time: How do I make my own Uganda Trap
Etiquette Excellence: Space Travel
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