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Monday, December 3, 2007

How do I write a response to an editorial?

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they find it necessary to lash out at some sort of public persona from the safety of their own home. In the case of an editorialist, follow this template and plug the necessary words in the brackets:

Dear [name of editorialist],

Your recent article in [name of publication] left me very [emotion]. I couldn’t help but think [adverb] about the whole [noun]. I feel you [verb in past tense] the issue at hand in a very [adjective that describes old people] way. Granted, you make a good point for a [type of criminal that ends in “apist”] but I still feel you’re wrong. I find in my own personal experiences [race of people excluding African or Pacific Islander] rarely, if ever [something chosen race of people do a lot]. Your [adjective describing the smell of a burlesque house] opinion is equally unwelcome and [another word that starts with "un"]. You are a [shit head].

[Adverb ending in “ly”] yours,
[Your porn name]

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