For those unfamiliar with the Apple store, let me inform you: the Apple store is different. Whatever preconceived notions you have about what a store is, or how one should operate, cast them aside immediately; otherwise you might leave the Apple store with less than you came in with. If that last sentence seemed cryptic and vague, just imagine that scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where that dude gets his heart ripped right out of his chest. Are we on the same page now? Good.
Know your enemy.
As a general rule of thumb, when you’re in enemy territory, you don’t want to draw unwanted attention to yourself. Now, you may be thinking, “Enemy territory? I am a Mac person, I’m one of them!”
No. You are not. Despite how knowledgeable you may think you are in the world of Apple products, there are people in the Apple store that will not take your trespassing lightly. These people have more Ipods than you, they buy Macs in specific colors so they can hold a room together, and they will not hesitate to kill your Dad because he doesn’t use a FireWire cable to upload photos from his digital camera.
Dress Mac appropriate.
Although a typical Apple store customer will not hesitate to castrate an outsider with an external hard drive, they are extremely accommodating to their own kind. In order to disguise yourself as one of them, consider the following list of what to wear and what not to wear.
Try to wear:
A beret
A shirt that says “I love Apple TV.”
An ammo bandolier
A monocle
A necklace made of human tongues
A magical monkey paw that grants wishes
Do NOT wear:
Plaid
WWJD bracelets
“Frankie says relax” t-shirts
Things bought in the suburbs
Do NOT act like Justin Long.
Yeah, he’s “the Mac guy” on the commercials, but just like how Australians refuse affiliation with Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Mac users do not like being lumped in the same group as Justin Long. This is mainly because Mac people don’t like it when people say the word “PC.” It is also has to do with the fact he’s dating Drew Barrymore and that girl got a bitch face.
Other related guides:
How do I rip hearts out?
D.I.Y Time: How do I make a necklace made of tongues?
What if Drew Barrymore is trying to kill me because I said she has a bitch face? Isn't she just pissed Charlie's Angels sucked?
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