Love can be a beautiful thing, but it is usually very expensive. Don't be foolish by actually spending money on the woman you love. Instead, take these low-priced ideas for romantic times.
Make her dinner - Get the bitch out of the kitchen for great fun with role reversal! Figure out an easy-to-learn recipe, and sit her down for a nice romantic, candle-lit dinner. For added fun, poke fun at how naturally inept you are at cooking by horribly mangling any recipe you attempt! Use items that do not belong in the recipe for extra fun, like herbs and Drano.
Sing to her - You don't have to be on the same skill level as Michael Bolton in order to make her swoon. Just don't pick songs she likes because if you really butcher it, those songs will be ruined forever for her. And don't pick a song you like, because you don't want to come off as selfish. In fact, just RickRoll her.
Macaroni Necklace - Chicks dig jewelry, but it is expensive. That's why you, a problem solver, can easily craft an eye-catching necklace by using pasta. I made one for my mother one year, and she wore it once, but thought it was so nice that she put it away in the safety deposit box. I'm not sure if yours will be of that quality, but there is always a chance.
Be sexy - Invest in a very cheap pair of satin boxers. If no funds are available or you are just lazy, tie a fancy ribbon around your manly parts. Either that or a single rose nestled in nature's vase.
Chloroform - Give her the night she will never forget, albeit most recollection of it will be hazy and shameful at best.
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