How do I make some last-minute halloween costumes?

We have another 32 days until Halloween, but that doesn't mean you cannot procrastinate for the next month.. In fact, if you read this the day it was posted, you can sleep easy for the next 31 days knowing that you can just slap something together in a minute. Most preferably, the last minute. All of the costumes listed here have been made out of items in my immediate surroundings found in The Survival Guide office, as to remain in the spirit and spontaneity of short-notice costume-cobbling.

Atlas
What you need: Globe, Toga (maybe?)
You too can hold the entire Earth and have one Halloween costume that seems both creative and not a cheap last resort. All you need is a globe of the Earth and some ancient clothing. I'm not sure if you need a toga, or a loincloth, or legwarmers, but it has to be something timeless. I made this discovery during one of my daily whiskey rages. I grabbed a paper weight Mr. Jones got me from his trip to Arkansas and threw it at the sizable and very expensive globe Mr. Jones found in our electrician's house. The globe broke off of it's axis and I felt really bad for some reason. I start sobbing and trying to lift the globe, but my hands are wet from all the crying I did. Mr. Jones was trying to help this entire time, and to keep spirits up, he said "I've heard of Atlas Shurgged, but Atlas Cried Like a Little Bitch?" That's when I picked up another paper weight.

The Sphinx
What you need: Google seach for brain teasers, a penchant for mischeif
Do you love to fool your friends? Then use all those brainteaser to the max when you go as the sphinx. The sphinx originally was beast-like and with femine features and wings, but for this suggestion we're just gonna let that slide. No one even cares. Why are you dressing up? Some cool costume party? Hey, you'll be the coolest person their for not wearing a costume and actually having dignity. Also, as a sphinx, you get to kill people if they answer wrong. Of course, if they get it right you have to kill yourself, but whatever. While I like to think that two mythological illusions is just a stroke of luck, I will admit that I do to tend to lean towards ledgend and lore when I drink whisky. Also, I get angry

Moustache Man
What you need: Fake moustache, or felt tip pen.
Now anyone can feel the majesty usually associated with 'stache growers worldwide. I will admit right off the bat that this is not as clever as the previous costume, but the moustache man is a much better costume than you think. For you see, I was fact-checking a new entry and sniffing some permanent markers when I remembered I had some model airplane glue in my desk drawer. I got some of the glue in my natural moustache and tried to cover my shame with the fur scarf I had on at the time. Some of the fur got caught on my face so I had to use my letter opener to cut the scarf from my face. I like how the fur looked on my upperlip, so I kept it. And that's how we fact-check.