Sex columns for women always seemed to me like a kind of paradox: males across the world are trying to discover the mysteries of the vagina, while at the same countless women are trying to understand men and their polar opposite genitals, something I call an ungina.
Despite this yearning to understand the other species better, it seems like no advice ever comes to light that puts men and women in perfect harmony.
That is, until today.
What can I do to make him include me with his friends? I’m never include or asked to join when they all hang out.
This one’s easy. Nothing. You can do nothing. I bet you’re one of those girls that keeps talking through movies. God that’s annoying. My advice? Quit talking through movies. It’s not his fault you didn’t know what was going on in Pulp Fiction.
Guys often approach me at bars, and sometimes we really hit it off, but they never ask for my number. What’s my problem?
Let’s, for the sake of argument, say a guy starts hitting on you. He’s at a bar, so he’s probably drinking (which is good for you, because you’re really empty). But imagine this: as the night goes on, and last call draws closer, what if he starts to slow down his drinking? That would mean his blood alchohol level is dropping. Part of me wants to draw a graph to show the direct correlation between intoxication and finding you interesting to talk to but I’m pressed for time and will leave it at this: you’re what we call “drunk fun.” Your little stories about your cats and your “craaaazy ex-boyfriend” are really only engaging if you’ve had a few. It’s like going to see a Jimmy Buffet concert sober; it’s not worth it. But relax, you’re like Jimmy Buffet!
Why hasn’t he changed his MySpace relationship status? Does that mean we should hold off living together?
If there’s one thing that should stop you from moving in with a guy, it should definitely be his MySpace status. But don’t think that could be the only redflag on his page, either. It’s entirely possible he has never even seen some of what he appears on his favorite movie list. Or, even worse, maybe he has never read a Michael Crichton like his MySpace so claims!
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