We all know that there is one God that created us out of his magical God Clay™ and gave us life to show us his love and his obligation to create us. As humans, we are not creative, and could not come up with our own unique way to show love and obligation. Therefore, people give gifts to other people to show either their love, or their obligation.
Santa
Santa and all Santa spin-offs including magic sleds, hats, reindeer, and elves or other diminutive people are all the intellectual property of the Coca-Cola corporation. The man behind the invention of such an elaborate ad campaign, Woolfolk Walker, stated that Christmas was big enough for another God. This became blatant when Coke started selling "The New Coke," which featured God Clay™ extract as a prominent ingredient. This ended up failing as a commercial venture, due to it's poor taste and class-action lawsuits against Coke, as they were responsible for many people turning into trees.
Television Specials
Media analysts in the 1960s, assuming that free-will and the prophetic rise to power of the poncho would have wiped out most of our television networks by the 198os, suggested that stations recorded several cheap seasonal specials to lurer audiences back in with cozy and easy viewing. Luckily, these specials have become a staple in our cultural fabric, and the poncho has been subdued... for now...?
When 1983 rolled around, television was far from wiped out. With that being said, the poncho threat was still very real and compromises between NBC and the poncho separatists were made. The character Ponch on CHiPs was that compromise.
Mistletoe
This does not have any religious or corporate roots. the origin of mistletoe can be traced back to the year 1953, at the house at 164 Clydesdale Road in Salvna, Ohio, where a very lonely man was trying to work his magic with a semi-attractive Jehovah's Witness. While this is the source of the "kiss" tradition we know of today, what was omitted after that encounter was the infamous "reach-a-round clause."
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