Travel Guide: Stonehenge

The purpose of Stonehenge is widely unknown, although many scholars speculate it was home to various ancient religious rituals. In all actuality, Stonehenge was built in 1910 by an anonymous monocled plutocrat. The plutocrat constructed the landmark on the wager that he couldn’t convince an entire populous that a pile of freshly carved rectangular rocks dated back to prehistoric times. Located 13 miles north of the city of Salisbury, the heist was easily pulled because the good people of Salisbury had yet to discover the concept of North. After a staged moment and discovery and plenty of media coverage, the Englishman won his wager. Under the typical rules of an English wager, his opponent had to go to work the next day wearing a dress.

Did you know... that the people of Salisbury used the same compasses as we do, but believed that the N pointed to the closest nougat reservoir?

Famous Events In Stonehenge History

1908: Construction of Stonehenge begins

1909: The workers employed to construct Stonehenge have a moment of regret as they find out “big rocks are heavy.”

1910: Stonehenge is completed

1912: Winston Churchill feels up his prom date under one of the massive stones.

1928: A deer is seen by Stonehenge. Scientists then predict that a deer constructed Stonehenge.

1930: Winston Churchill feels up a waitress under one of the massive stones.

1939: Hitler demands that the English government surrender Stonehenge to Germany. Churchill, fearful of losing his fabled “feel up” spot, says “No dice, Hitler.”

1941: Winston Churchill feels up President Franklin Delano Roosevelt under one of the massive stones.