Writing Workshop: Writing the "About the Author"

Not many people know this, but the person who writes the "About the author" section on book jackets is actually the author himself! But you cannot just write anything about yourself and have people believe you. This is partly due to me telling the world just two sentences ago that the paragraph in your book glorifying you is actually written by you, and I apologize for that. So here is how you fool them into thinking that your description is the rare exception to the pretty much common knowledge idea that it is written by you, to glorify you.

Stick to facts - The trick is to not say anything that cannot be disproven. Birthplace and birth year are a good place to start the description. You can spout out your accomplishments, but try not to exaggerate. Think of something related to your writing or the book, or that one time you were drunk and you ate a live chipmunk. Man, that was pretty cool. You should tell everyone that story.

Be picky - You might talk about your success in earning a ribbon in the 5th grade spelling bee. However, many people get ribbons in their 5th grade spelling bees. Why should we, as readers, give a fuck? Though you are being truthful, you are not offering anything new to the biography party. Gopher eating, however, is a very unique subject that will make you jump off the page. If you do not have any decent chipmunk eating stories, you can always fill it with peace prizes and journalistic accolades.

Use your history of ingesting furry woodland creatures - I mean, that story is one of the only stories you can tell well. You might as well use that to your advantage and make people think the rest of the book will be that good. I mean, you wrote the "About the author" section after all.