What’s the best way to fill out a FAFSA?

FAFSA (Fucking Application for Fucking Student Aid) is a necessary evil for a college student. Its purpose is noble enough: to provide students with money from Uncle Sam’s wallet so they don’t have to attend Eastern Illinois University. Unfortunately, in order to get those sweet learnin’ dollars, one must complete FAFSA in it’s entirety, which, in and of itself, as many critics claim, is an experience like no other.

Allot Time Accordingly
The FAFSA form is about 20+ hours long with an expansive level up system, three escort missions, and an optional hotel management component. Although FAFSA has a save feature, deadline can sneak up on you, so it’s entirely possible you might have to complete it in one sitting. If this is the case, I suggest staying home from work and clearing your schedule. If you’re pregnant and dangerously approaching labor, try being less pregnant.

Familiarize yourself with the following tips:

• Cure spells, when used on undead, will deal damage equal to the same amount they would otherwise heal. This is particularly useful about halfway through FAFSA when you start dealing with necromancers en masse.

• Stay away from throwing weapons! Although initially the damage is impressive, their damage scales off quickly as you progress to the later sections of FAFSA.

• Don’t wander into major encounters before equipping your party with the best from local merchants. A little preparation goes a long way, and who knows how long you’ll go before you see another vendor?

• Side quests for each character’s ultimate weapon are time consuming and the pay off is not particularly impressive. If you have the time, go for it, but if it’s between getting Suey’s bayonet launcher and getting stuck at Eastern, go without the ultimate weapons. Again, Eastern sucks.

• Red barrels explode. But you knew that already, right?

What to shoot for
Upon completion, the FAFSA will award you a letter grade based on your performance. Although one might assume A is the highest, there is, in fact, a secret S rank for the extremely skilled.

The formula for determining rank is as follows:

(Gil spent on Tents)*(Hidden packages found)/(Number of game overs)+(Number of bar patrons saved during the siege sequence)

Note: As of 2004, The Bush administration has passed legislation so that the number of bar patrons saved will not go towards your final score. This is widely disputed because many poor players found reprieve in the comparatively easy siege sequence.