Price is Right Field Guide: The Bidding

Here is the the second in our Price is Right field guide, designed to turn even the most common of the public into a non-stoppable new car and kitchen appliance winning machine. In the first part of the guide, we walked you through on how to be chosen to be a contestant. It is assumed that you have followed that entry with perfection and are now in the bidding stages in of the show. This is one of the few times in the show where you must directly compete against other contestants who crave the touch and attention of Drew Carey, and would not bat an eye at straight-up murdering you over choice bids. Here is how to get a step up on them and murder them first... with bids! (and murder)

The Dollar
This one is an old standby, but for reasons largely retarded. The logic is that if everyone else bid too high, you can just bid $1 and profit off of anyone's stupidity. However, this rarely proves effective, and those who do benefit from bidding a dollar are cursed with bad luck, as documented in Bob Barker's tell all book, The Woman Within.

"A lot of the people who bid a dollar and win are college kids who have no idea what money is. They get on, then completely muck up the pricing games, sometimes get lucky on the wheel because little thinking is involved, and then fuck up the showcase. Out of all the contestants, they are the most likely to die in a grisly murder-suicide. I'm not sure if the dollar bid is an indicator of chancing fate, but there is a definite correlation between the dollar bid and being drown in a car."

However, if someone else bids a dollar, bid two dollars. You're saving them from certain, watery doom.

Blackmail
It's rather simple: just have something you can hold over the head of your other contestants. This could be embarrassing pictures of a college kid or a forbidden family secret of an old woman. However, since contestant selection is "seemingly" random, you either need to have dirt on everyone there who can possibly be a contestant, or just use very vague phrasing. I opt for the latter, because if you want to be on Price is Right more than anything in the world, you would go that extra mile and spend 3 years doing detective work on people who may or may not be on the show. We are talking about the apex of game shows. Don't be a slacker.

Straight out murder
Sometimes, people pick the number perfectly and get bonus money. This is good for them, but what if you already knew the total because you did your price research? Since the Price is Right is filmed on an Indian reservation, a lot of the rules and laws we have come to to expect no longer apply. This means killing is not only implied, but seen as a moral way to go about solving the problems other bidders cause. In fact, you get bonus money for the more contestants you kill. Add that to the bonus money you'll get from bidding the exact price, and you pretty much paid for the grenades you bought for the occasion.

Now, onto the pricing games...