2 Minute Biography: Thomas Kinkade

Thomas Kinkade, "Master of Light," is encountered when making a pass through the Thonston village on the third disc of the game. Upon leaving for Belsgar Castle, your party will encounter Thomas Kinkade hustling a kiosk worker for protection money. Dactus (default name of main character, but I personally named him Bucket,) and his party (who I named FancyPants, Mr. T, and Vaginamite) try to step in, but did not realize that it was Thomas Kinkade disguised as a human. Upon confrontation, Kinkade grows to is usual 13 foot tall proportions with proficiencies in wind and holy attacks.

Before this fight, make you stock up on some soft, because Thomas Kinkade will turn someone into stone after every attack. I had Vaginamite on healing the entire battle, with FancyPants nuking and Mr. T as a tank. Make sure you arrange your materia to reflect these, and also Kinkade's weaknesses. To fight against wind, use demi or grav. To fight holy, equip logic.

Review: Try filling out this weakness chart by memory! Hint... Autism cuts like diamonds.

When you see the lens flare, that means Thomas Kinkade will do his powerful Sun Beam attack during his next turn. When Thomas Kinkade is below 200 HP, he will use his scorpion tail for a poison attack. For some reason, the poison is too powerful and cannot be cured by antidote, and will only go over when you pick up Kinkade's Elixir after it is dropped in battle, along with 377 gil and a ATK+3 painting of a snowy mainstreet in small-town U.S.A.