It is common knowledge that child actors have had the most fruitful, successful lives. Beaver of "Leave it to Beaver" fame lived on a giant mountain of money and naked women, and owned half of India before he died while bravely fighting in Vietnam from overdose. Shirley Temple has been largely successful in her post-childhood career, and is now the number one hostess of high-class crystal meth parties found in most homeless shelters. Even the kid from Jerry McGuire earned his life of privilege and has since amassed a fortune, alternating through experiments and pimping. The Little Rascals were not so fortunate. Instead, each of the little rapscallions has met a most unfortunate death, as the Hollywood fate machine chewed them up like a bunch of beef jerky soaked in a fine red wine. In no specific order, here are the destinies that Little Rascal actors found after living life in the fast lane.
Alfalfa
In a drug deal gone astray, he died at age 29 accidentally from a mishandled switchblade which he meant to stab into other people!
Chubby
Chubby's incredibly overweight body was due to a glandular problem he had at birth. He died at his home from pneumonia, because when he use to lay around at home and watch TV all day, he would actually lay AROUND THE HOME and watch TV all day! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!
Buckwheat
Died of R.Y.N.N.U.I.S.P.D.W.B. (Running Through a Neighborhood Naked Under the Influence of Several Powerful Drugs While Black!)
Darla Hood
She once got her car broken into. It was really scary, but they only took road maps for some reason. Either way, you have to admit it is unsettling!
Brisban
Started his own karate dojo in the suburbs of New York, but when it came time for a demonstration for new students and their ever-so-hot mothers, he could never break both planks of wood with a single chop!
Froggy
Wanted to swim with sharks once, but he had a condition that made his heart explode upon thinking that!
Mickey Daniels
Cooties!
Stymie
Lives a relatively normal life... but his son has downs syndrome!
Scott Beckett
Became a carnie, but only with moderate success!
Wheezer
Found with a tranny and suitcase of blow at a child's birthday party he was entertaining.
Pete the Pup
Tried to run for president, assassinated
Spanky
The only one to escape the clutches of Little Rascals fate, Robert Blake went on to star in Hell Town, where he was a small town preacher with you teachers morality through the works of apositles Smith and Wesson. Nothing bad has ever happened to him.
Alfalfa
In a drug deal gone astray, he died at age 29 accidentally from a mishandled switchblade which he meant to stab into other people!
Chubby
Chubby's incredibly overweight body was due to a glandular problem he had at birth. He died at his home from pneumonia, because when he use to lay around at home and watch TV all day, he would actually lay AROUND THE HOME and watch TV all day! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!
Buckwheat
Died of R.Y.N.N.U.I.S.P.D.W.B. (Running Through a Neighborhood Naked Under the Influence of Several Powerful Drugs While Black!)
Darla Hood
She once got her car broken into. It was really scary, but they only took road maps for some reason. Either way, you have to admit it is unsettling!
Brisban
Started his own karate dojo in the suburbs of New York, but when it came time for a demonstration for new students and their ever-so-hot mothers, he could never break both planks of wood with a single chop!
Froggy
Wanted to swim with sharks once, but he had a condition that made his heart explode upon thinking that!
Mickey Daniels
Cooties!
Stymie
Lives a relatively normal life... but his son has downs syndrome!
Scott Beckett
Became a carnie, but only with moderate success!
Wheezer
Found with a tranny and suitcase of blow at a child's birthday party he was entertaining.
Pete the Pup
Tried to run for president, assassinated
Spanky
The only one to escape the clutches of Little Rascals fate, Robert Blake went on to star in Hell Town, where he was a small town preacher with you teachers morality through the works of apositles Smith and Wesson. Nothing bad has ever happened to him.
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