Bullshit or bulltruth: cold remedies

Colds are a natural way the body keeps your ego in check by leaving you annoyed by sniffling and coughing, but is not contagious enough to warrant sick days. These days often leave you looking disheveled, you feel out of place, and nothing seems to click like it use to. You are right to assuming that this is just like getting blazed for 5 days straight, only imagine also being covered in your own mucus and getting your face kicked in. So in this case, it's like that one time I got blazed for 5 days straight. HOWEVER(!), you need not worry about your bloodied, mucus covered face no more, as here are some cold remedies that have either passed the test of time, or failed the midterm of duration.

Lots of vitamin C
Verdict: Bulltruth
As we discovered in an earlier post, Vitamin C is a great singer who does wonders for your immune system. Just by listening to her cover of "Pomp and Circumstance" on loop, your body will undergo its recovery process. It is important to note that full recovery comes with listening to the song at least 157 times in one sitting. While this seems manageable, keep in mind that most people only last 3 listens until committing musical suicide. Still, it is a risk you should take. Do it. Do it, pussy.

Bed rest
Verdict: Bullshit-ish
The annual total of bed deaths is rising every year, leaving this myth behind on the times. There might have been a time where this was true, before Americans started making beds that would randomly smother sleepers for nothing more than fun. But these are the times we live in, and beds can just no longer be trusted. Sleep still might be effective in combating colds, so just try to sleep elsewhere. Note that if you sleep in a tree, you are out of the reach of bears. I read that somewhere, so you can apply that to your current predicament. You can also try sleeping on the ground, but beware of the possible repercussions.

Yaks blood
Verdict: Bulltruth
As expected, drinking the daily recommended supply of yaks blood that doctors have been pushing for the past 50 years does wonders for your body. Not only will it cure your cold, but embiggen your muscles and immediately melt any tumors you have in your body and turn them into ice cream.