D.I.Y. Time: How do I make arts?

Since there has been man, there has been art. Cavemen created their arts by using rocks and clay to draw on walls, and later used those same rocks to kill other cavemen or sabretooth tigers. Being turbulent times for both visual communication and bloodlust, several historians refer to this period as the "Holy Shit" period. Their justification: when was the last time you ever saw someone kill somebody with a paint brush or colored pencils? How about killing a sabretooth tiger with brushes and pencils? Since the "Holy Shit" period, art has gotten much less manly, but is still practiced today by both professional artists and people who have yet to let their dream die. Art is a broad subject to sum up in one definition, but for the sake of this entry, art is "anything that would look good above the fireplace of the Survival Guide office, right next to the wax replica of Muhammad Ali's head mounted on the wall. (he knows why)."

Find a muse
A muse could be anything that inspires you to make arts. This could be a person you admire, a setting you really enjoy, or a sandwich that you are craving at the moment. This muse is important in your art creation, because they will passively influence you on what you create. Just make sure they influence you in the right way. If your muse starts directing you into painting flowers, find a new muse that has a more developed taste.

Choose your medium
While ideally your muse should determine everything else, seriously, what do they know? You still have to call some of the shots around there. Decide whether you are doing a sculpture, a painting, a pencil-sketch, an audio-visual installation, post-modern art, found art, sandwich art, car art, graffiti, or anything else that comes to your mind. However, keep in mind that the shelf above the fireplace is 6 inches by 3 feet, so don't go too artsy. Also, the wall above the fireplace is kind of weak, so if you have something that needs to hang there, try not to make it too big. If you could, make sure it matches the wooden finish on the wall.

I'm really hungry
Maybe I do not fully understand what you arters do, but could you possibly just make me something to eat instead? Like, I have money for it and everything, and you could go to town on arranging condiments and toppings in fancy ways, I just want food. Well, you can also make something for the mantle, too. That'd be good. Sorry, side-tracked. Right. Art.

Don't finish till you are content
From what I hear, it is important not to rush art. Arts are very natural things that must be coaxed out of you and put onto a canvas. Keep this in mind when everyone is yelling at you to finish something or make something. This covers a lot of things beyond art, like making sandwiches. People do not understand that it takes time in order to create something like that. However, there are exceptions to this rule. For instance, you.

As you notice, I didn't cover how to draw or paint or actually be an artist. This is merely a summary of steps to take when creating a piece of art. Your skills all depend on you, your upbringing, and your genes. Even if you are not the best artist, that gaping, undecorated hole above the fire place needs ornamentation. So still send in some arts that I could appraise. If not, just send in some McDonalds Fun Money.