Writer's Workshop: Using Symbolism Effectively

So you just finished your novel, and you can’t help but notice you don’t think its deep enough. Somehow friends and family alike pan your attempt to open “Gun erotica” as a fiction genre with your 400 page epic about two homosexual black-market weapon dealers, whose love is catalyzed by an upcoming religious conflict in the Middle East.

But this is not an issue. By applying universally recognized symbolism and themes into your work, it won’t be long before your name and the phrase “erotic odyssey troubadour” appears in the same sentence in newspapers everywhere.

To get you started, I have complied a brief list of some symbols and their meanings to help you get underway on your quest for pretentiousness:

A dove that bursts into flames for no reason. The dove is one of the most widely recognized symbols of peace on the planet, which, in itself, grants literary merit. However, a dove bursting into flames signifies the end of a peaceful era and is best placed before a major, bloody conflict in your piece. Also, it shows that as an author, you don’t take shit from anyone. Especially birds.

A recently decapitated head that grows spider-like legs and runs away. This symbol has two meanings. On one hand, it’s an ancient Greek symbol of chaos, but in other locales across the globe it also means that Kurt Russel and a team of scientists are doing battle against a shape-shifting alien in the frigid cold of Antarctica. As a creative mind, it’s up to you which meaning to use.

When director John Carpenter was filming The Thing, a movie about Kurt Russel and a team of scientists doing battle against a shape-shifting alien in the frigid cold of Antarctica, he felt this particular piece of symbolism was a no-brainer.

The manatee. The sea cow signifies death at sea, usually as a result of a boat motor. As a writer, it may be your best interest to avoid using the manatee in settings were bodies of water are not present.

Triangles. The triangle is geometry’s vagina. Whenever you need a touch of femininity, look no further than the mighty symbol of the triangle. For example, you can use the pyramids of Egypt to foreshadow an upcoming reverse gang-bang.

Bow-chicka-wow-wow.