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Friday, August 17, 2007

Episode Guide to Season 1 of Three's Company

Episode 1: A Man About the House
Janet Wood and Chrissy Snow find themselves in need of a third tenate to share the rent. Instead of taking an ad out in the paper, due to Chrissy’s irrational fear of the printed word, they construct a golem out of flesh and blood, and by using Janet’s coveted family heirloom, the blood ruby, they bring the flesh construct to life. They call the golem “Jack Tripper.” Mr. Roper, the landlord, is hesitant to allow two females and a male to occupy the same house, so the girls tell Roper Jack is gay. To prove this, Jack rapes Mr. Roper.

Jack getting used to his new body before launching an offensive on a unassuming Mr. Roper

Episode 2: War On The Home Front
Janet and Chrissy get into a huge argument about the best way to cauterize a wound. In a typical sitcom fashion, they divide the house in two by drawing a line down the middle with chalk. However, they can’t decide who gets to keep Jack. Due to his artificial nature, the girls split him in half vertically. The two girls use each of their Tripper halves to enact petty revenge on one another until they finally make amends. Mr. Roper comes to investigate a noise complaint and the two halves of Jack Tripper gang bang him.

Episode 3: Growing Pains
Janet is out at an interview for a desk job for a big office downtown. Meanwhile back at home, Chrissy becomes curious of what exactly Jack is capable of, so she puts him behind the wheel of her car. In an explosion of sheer coincidence, Jack drives into the very same building Janet is being interviewed at, killing her would-be boss. Further investigation reveals that the recently deceased CEO was heavily involved in a child pornography ring. Jack is rewarded a key to the city, and Janet is put in charge of the big account.

Episode 4: Let Them Eat Cake
Janet and Chrissy invite the Meltzers, their new neighbors, over for lunch. The Meltzers prove to be good company, albeit a bit snobbish at times. Jack, realizing his failure to violate Mr. Roper in S1E03, rapes him twice.

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