What can I do to ensure a second date goes smoothly?

Many people think your first date with someone can make or break a potential relationship, which is true to an extent. However, the second date with a person holds more weight than a million first dates on the road to fucking up or fucking.

Make the second date significantly more enjoyable than the first. Hopefully, you didn’t charm the shit out of your prospective partner on the first date. Attempting to go all out on the first date is a very common mistake and unfortunately, ends up hurting you in the long run as it becomes increasingly harder to top your past dates. For example, if your first date involved a long hike to the city dump to taunt junkyard dogs, your suggestion of IHOP for the scene of the second date will seem incredibly suave in contrast. Fortunately, if you did max out on the first date, it is not beyond repair. Immediately at the start of your second date inform your love interest that there’s something you forgot to tell them last time and lead them to a secluded location. Then proceed to push them down. Immediately help them up and tell them you love them while you unleash an unrelenting, loving gaze that pierces their very soul.

A cock fight is a solid choice for a first date.

Provide evidence that you retained information from the last date. People like to know that they’re actually being listened to. For example, if your date mentioned their parent’s recent wedding anniversary, ask questions like “So, are your parents still alive?” Or, if your date said they enjoy horseback riding, do not hesitate to show them the welcome-mat depicting a majestic stallion that you wove out of human hair. Remember, it’s the little things.

Ensure that you stick the landing. As many are aware, a second date is pretty much guaranteed action, especially if you can get into their place of residence. A little trick I use when dropping my date of is to simply ask if I can come in. If they seem hesitant, I apologize for coming across as rash and explain that I actually just need to take a huge dump. Do whatever it takes, because once you're in, you're in.