How do I score a waitress's phone number?

Everyone has that friend that met his girlfriend because she was his waitress. Chances are, this friend likes to recount, in grievous detail, just how suave he was when he scored her phone number. Chances are, this friend will also explain, in grievous detail, how their first date went. Chances are, this friend will elaborate, in grievous detail, what her vagina looked like on that magical evening. This will probably be accompanied with multiple charts and diagrams.

Now, after many long years of being on the receiving end of the vagina diagrams, you want to be that friend.

Know whether or not the establishment serves Coke or Pepsi products.
Consider this situation:

The waitress asks you what you would like to drink.
You tell her you’ll have a Coke.
She asks, “Is Pepsi alright?” and flashes a smile that clearly says, “You will never father my children.”
You say “Yeah, sure” and return a forced smile that says, “I’m sorry. Give me another chance. I can change.”
She says she’ll be back with the drinks in a minute, but you know damn well she’s heading to the back to tell all her pretty waitress friends about your little social faux pas.

You go home and cry and add TGI Fridays to the list.

In the field of picking up waitresses, knowledge of whether or not the restaurant has Coke or Pepsi products is inversely proportional to crying like a bitch with the lights off.

Try to only pick up waitresses that are serving your table.
You definitely can score some digits off a waitress that’s waiting on another table but it’s hard, especially if you don’t know the people at the other table. You can probably pull a fake “Fancy meeting you guys here!” shtick with some random people but it’s also entirely probable you’ll ruin some little girls birthday dinner and the mother will tell everyone to go wait in the car while she yells at you in front of the waitress. It’s hard to pick up women when you’re getting yelled at.

Make your intentions clear after leaving a generous tip.
The phrase “Keep the change” is like the best thing to happen to waitresses. After you tell her that, tell her to hold on and explain you would like her phone number. If she seems hesitant, quell her fears by explaining it’s not a sexual thing. You just want to construct a diagram of her vagina to show your friends.